If I didn't have hope here is where I'd be:

I'd be in a job that I didn't find fulfilling.

I'd be either dating or married to someone I settled for.

I'd be in debt; monetarily as well as spiritually and emotionally.

I'd be sitting in my church, needy, in a ‘hospital bed', looking to get what I could from the pastor, and not getting out of the ‘bed' for someone who needed care and treatment.

I'd be caught up in sins and strongholds, thinking I could never break free from them.

I'd be sitting in front of my TV screen conspiring about whether or not Bin Laden was really dead, if the US has known where he was all along, and if 9/11 was some fluke.

I'd be angry.

I'd be bitter.

I'd be cynical.

I'd be hopeless.

But damnit!!

I have hope!

And I REFUSE to live the rest of my life as if I didn't.

I guess I say this a lot, and maybe it goes unheard or unrecognized as important, but

YOU CAN HAVE HOPE, TOO! Jesus isn't some feminized man with pedicured hands and his long luscious locks blowing in the wind. My Jesus has calloused carpenter hands, a fierce passion for his bride, and an outrageous anger towards those who try to mess with His Father's children. He also knows how to have a good time. He knew full well that life was meant to be lived…and lived well. 

With that said, here's who I am and who I will be, because I have hope:

I am pursuing a life that makes me want to wake up every morning with joy and anticipation for what's in store.

I am waiting for a man that I can share life with and who will lead me, our children, and others to be strong, loving, considerate people.

I'm taking responsibility for finances, my emotional state, and my spiritual relationship so that I can be and operate at my best.

I am part of the Church. I am here to help other people get help, healing, and then hoist them into greatness. It's one thing I know that God has given me a passion for.

I am a saint…that sometimes sins. I know that my past does not define my future. And that even though His grace covers my sins, I no longer do (or don't do) things out of obligation, but because I know it hurts my relationship with my Father.

I am confident in the victory that I fight from. I know, and operate out of, the understanding that for those who are in Christ Jesus, no weapon formed against us will prosper. Not ever.

I am joyful.

I have peace.

I look for and expect the best.

And that is how I view life. Again I refuse to live my life any other way. I am giving my life to see as many people come to a place of freedom. I will die for the hope of glory to be in everyone. Because it is then, that Christ will come to meet His pure spotless bride.

Please, don't give up on hope.

"This is the only time in history when I get to fight for God. This is the only part of my eternal story when I am actually in the battle. Once I die, I'll be in celebration mode in a glorified body in a whole different set of circumstances. But this is my limited window of opportunity, and I'm going to fight the good fight for all I'm worth." 

-Joni Eareckson Tada

This is a blog that my roommate, Allison just wrote...it's awesome and I think more people need to read it :) Also, if you feel led, please consider supporting Allison's time here at G42!

(re)focus.

I recently watched The King's Speech, and I'm left wondering why stories like the one portrayed in this movie are not in our history books. We read when King George VI reigned; he did so and so; he was born and died in such and such a time. And yada, yada, yada.

I just want to know one thing. Why didn't the books tell me about the struggles the freakin' king of England had to overcome because of a speech impediment?!

I don't mean to knock the education system…

wait,  that's a lie.

I really think it's a load of bull.

Honestly, I remember what it was like to be a hormonal-trying to fit into the world-teenager. The last thing I wanted to be told at that age was some useless fact that was never going to really benefit me in the great scheme of life. I think it would be much more conducive if we were taught that the man who ruled over England couldn't speak right, and had to fight like hell, just to share one simple message to the common people. (But what do I know?!)

I think I took such a liking to this movie because it is real. I mean it wasn't all rainbows and lollipops for this dude. It took him years to finally get to a place of doing something that is really easy for most people. And this was someone who ruled over an entire country. (Hello!)

I wonder how many of us settle because we are too afraid that we will fall flat on our faces. This guy did fall, many times, and in front of millions of people. But he kept going. This is the kind of stuff we need to be told about in order to succeed in life.

We are going to fail,

probably many times,

but for god's sake…

DON'T GIVE UP THE FIGHT!

Here at G42 we are challenged to be history makers. We probably won't make it into a history book, and the world may never know our name, but that won't stop us from going full force… no matter the cost. If only I had this sort of encouragement, and people (other than my parents) who truly believed in what I was capable of, at 16. Wow, if every 16-year-old was told this, the world would be an epic place.

Men and Women:

Your past does not define you.

You can go as far as you want… as long as you never give up.

Look to hurdles as learning experiences instead of failure.

And for goodness sake, NEVER SETTLE.

½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"½"
Family, friends, and supporters:

Thank you so much for the last few years of believing in just how far I can go. I'm realizing more and more that my heart is for others to understand just how far they can go, and helping/encouraging them in that. I want to see a generation live boldly and to see them change the state of our world. I have to believe it is possible, or I may as well pack up my bags and go home.

With that, I still have about 4 more months at this “training ground” before I get thrown back out into doing the things I feel called to do. I am still in need of about $3,500 to finish this thing out. Without the proper funds, I will have to return home early.

Any amount would help me out so much. And as always, it's tax deductible.

Thank you for your love and support!

Donate here : click on intern support and then write ‘Allison Schwartz' on the 2nd page of the PayPal link.

…my mom kicks major booty!

I love my mom.

She probably doesn't know it.

I don't tell her nearly enough.

But I do.

A lot.

Mom, I love you. A lot.

And I think you kick major booty, like for real!

------------------------

My mom has a phenomenal way of comforting:

She has snuggled me from the very beginning. She even snuggled me back in December when I over-dramatically thought I was dying from pneumonia.

My mom is a lover…and a fighter:

I can see Jesus in my mom, simply by how she loves and cherishes people. She is also quite the firecracker, so you better not mess with the people she loves. Or make fun of her…in the words of Yul Brenner in Cool Runnings, “I see pride! I see power! I see a bad-ass mother who don't take no crap off of nobody!

(I think I got that from her…)

My mom is tons of fun:

In high school, she and my dad would chaperon our dances (it was cooler than it probably sounds). My mom, knows how to bust a move…and it's tons of fun to watch her and my dad do country swing. My mom also has the nickname in our family, “Lead Foot”…needless to say it's always been a good time driving with my mom.

My mom loves her some Jesus:

It has been such a joy to see my mom grow in her relationship with the Lord! I love to see how she tries to get as much information as she can. I see that she trusts the God in other people and respects their opinions and insights. She is a beautiful woman of God.

 -----------------------------------

Deidre Ann,

You're an amazing woman of God! I'm so blessed to have you in my life! You've been a great mother, daughter, sister, wife, and friend! I'm so proud of the woman that you are. What is more, I love that you're not done letting God grow you and transform you. Mom, you have such a huge destiny in His plan! You are a precious daughter of the Most High King! He loves you and wants you to realize more and more each day, that you are His princess and you have a huge inheritance to grab! GET SOME, GIRL!

I love you so much, mommy!  

Happy Mother's Day!

Mark 5

³⁵ While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?”

³⁶ Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don't be afraid; just believe.”

³⁷ He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. ³⁸ When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. ³⁹ He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.” ⁴⁰ But they laughed at him.

After he put them all out, he took the child's father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was. ⁴¹ He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”). ⁴² Immediately the girl stood up and began to walk around (she was twelve years old). At this they were completely astonished.

“What does your tattoo mean?”

“Well, it says Tailtha Koum, which means Little Girl, wake up.”

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I just got back from the Malaga Airport. My best friend, Evin was on her way back to the states after a two-week visit here in Mijas. This story of Jesus opened doors for healing and freedom for my dear friend.

As is custom for us crazy, Jesus loving twenty-somethings these days, my friend Annie Rose has a tattoo that reads “Talitah Koum.”

Curiosity killed the cat, and Evin couldn't help but ask. What no one knew at the time was that the tattoo was going to be used in SUCH a huge way. All throughout Annie Rose's story of the tattoo, she commented by saying things like, “I don't know why I'm telling this story like this. I've never explained my tattoo this detailed or in this way.”

 I am of the opinion that the Holy Spirit made the words come, because Evin needed to hear them. Later, as we walked around Mijas, Evin says, “I can't get that out of my head.”

Playing stupid (more wanting to hear it come from her mouth…haha, love you girl), I asked, “what?”

Simply, she responded with, “Wake up.”

I would just like to make two very powerful statements that you may or may not agree with:

1 . Tattoos are a phenomenal ministry tool. And I'm proud of my friends who have memorialized their faith journey…your faith and boldness is setting people free.

2. When the time is right, God moves FREAKIN FAST….

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8 years ago, I met a girl who had been maimed by the world. She was cold, yet strong. She was intimidating. But God spoke to my heart and said her heart needed love and hope. Her life needed, and was worthy of, redemption.

I've prayed, cried, fought (for and with), laughed, wanted to give up, wanted to persevere, for Evin. No matter the season, God assured me that She would see freedom. That she would live her life with purpose and passion. Some seasons were definitely harder than others.I must mention that I've learned so many lessons about what it means to be a woman of loyalty, character, and integrity from her. I've felt and received love, grace and acceptance from Evin...and I'm forever thankful for her friendship. 

I sit here on my couch in Mijas, Spain…completely and utterly overwhelmed. I've seen God work in powerful ways in my life. All along the way, He's shown me why I have no reason to doubt how good He is. Today is another one of those days...

I can confidently say that I saw my best friend wake up.

I watched with my own eyes, every prayer I've prayed for Evie answered.

I saw her heart accept Love.

I saw her accept hope.

I saw her stand firm in her redemption.

And for the prayers I never prayed, I heard her say these things:

I can't go home the same.

I can breathe and my heart is beating stronger.

I fit.

I want to go deeper into God.

My past doesn't define my future.

Not only did I hear these things, she declared it in front of her new friends�"family�"here at G42 in class.

She even tattooed it on her body as a reminder…

God is so, so, so, so good. He is mighty to work. And I can sit here today, thankful that it took 8 years to get to this point. To the world that might seem ludicrous…but to me, and I'd like to think Him too, it wouldn't be as epic if it happened any sooner.

Father God stripped away 20+ years of ‘tar' and hurt on Evin's heart in less than two weeks.

My God does things epically.

He's not going to half-ass His stories of redemption and deliverance.

And that, my friends, is a God I can serve.

 -----------------------------------------

Evin Jarel Feit

I'm so proud of you. I want to tell you to never forget what God has done in you…but I guess you can't forget with that red strip on your ankle. Walk boldly. Stand strong. Christ lives in you, love. With Him in you, there's NOTHING you can't do. I'm so glad you made the choice. You woke up. Now it's time to arise, SHINE. You were born for such a time as this! You're destined for greatness. He is so proud of you. He loves you…more than you know. Even now, continue to float in His ocean of grace and love! He is your fortress and strength. No weapon formed against you will remain. And now that the power of death has been conquered in you…go conquer it in others. You have authority. “The gates of hell (death) will not prevail.”

Go be a gate crusher, warrior!

For from Him, to Him, and through Him are all things. Praise be to God!!

Love you so much…

I was on my way to Jersey in the UK, to visit some friends. I got to the airport in Malaga to start the journey…

Monarch made me check my backpack…I had 2 kilos more than the allotted amount.

2 kilos!!!

When she told me the option of checking it, my blood boiled and I got snarky. I was perturbed. On the one hand, I was livid this lady was making me pay 31 Euros to check my backpack. I asked (more like made a statement) by saying “Really?!” in a snotty way and my body language probably exuded it, too. 

On the other hand, I was upset with myself…I could have packed differently. I'm also broke and I have to check a backpack for about $45 USD! I immediately walked to the sales counter to pay my newly acquired fee and the only positive response I had was, “Lord, forgive my crappy attitude. Have grace and mercy on me.” And for the next 30-45 minutes, I thought and analyzed the situation like crazy. I knew worshiping and trying to find the positives were my only ticket out of the ever tempting pitty-pit I quickly found myself falling into. 

So I had a lot of time to think (ok, let's be honest, worry).

This was not part of my plan.

From Malaga to London, I kept thinking of everything in my backpack. My computer, my Jersey friends' phone numbers, my clothes. I had nothing except my wallet and my passport. Oh and I lost my sheet of paper that had all my flight information on it in Malaga (good thing I have a random memory and knew I needed to go to the ‘North' terminal). I got to the point in mid-air on the way to London where I surrendered everything to Him. I said, “Ok, God. I trust you.” And I told myself that He is good…always.

What came after was another fabulous opportunity to continue the lifestyle I profess to unabashedly live: complete and utter dependence on God. I had to give up the possibility of my computer breaking, my backpack being lost, missing my flight to Jersey, etc. After surrendering, my next prayer was for peace and continued trust and patience in Him.

Great News! Lesson learned, trust instilled, everything turned out just fine!! Got my backpack. Found my gate. Made it through British customs with flying colors and a short friendly conversation with the British officer (I was surprised…I've heard they're a tough crowd). I grabbed a bite to eat and some java (duh) and proceeded to my next flight. With my iPod on shuffle, the song “Industry” by John McLaughlin came on and it just really reinforced this life of following Jesus for me. He says in the song, “When you grow silent I start to fall.”

And I got to thinking that God is never silent. He's always talking and revealing Himself. But then I thought of that line within the context of the song- caught in the industry.

The industry we live in demands reliance on self, money, belongings, and security. And caught in this industry, yeah, we technically have everything we need. If I relied on myself, my money, my belongings, and my security, God wouldn't have had to act because I could take control.  Mind you, me taking control would have been remaining angry and bitter at the ticket lady and the airline. Me taking control would have been worrying myself sick and panicking at the London airport. So, caught in the industry of individualism, it makes Him grow silent because we don't need Him to act on our behalf (which by the way, I believe He wants to do). Resulting in us looking like up-tight jackasses, to be blunt.

I find it freakin' awesome that after “Industry” Garth Brooks' song “To Make You Feel My Love” was next on the shuffle list (which is God and my love song). God basically revealed to me that when I surrender everything (computer, 31 Euros, anger, frustration, doubt) He takes it, turns it into my good, and all because He simply loves me enough to show me that I don't have to fall, that He's not silent and instead I must listen, and, well, the ‘industry' sucks.

I like my God…a lot. He keeps me on my toes and reminds me to trust Him in everything…even when I muck up on something as silly as this story! I am my Beloved's and His desire is for me. And I quite like it that way…

Cool thing is, I don't deserve a lick of it!

The last two weeks have been outrageous. I've never been more challenged in my life in regards to my dream.

So far, we've had fabulous people come into class and teach us about our dreams, being godly leaders, etc. Typically, I feel peppy and giddy about life and my dream. It's been easy to think about how I want to have cool take-away cups at my coffee shop. And how I want to have extraordinary events take place in the shop. And I can just envision the people's lives and hearts that change because they stepped foot in the coffee shop.

But as I said, the last several days have been a kick in the pants. We had two entrepreneurial speakers come in to class. On a couple of occasions, they both made me want to throw in the towel and surrender. I literally had the thought, “Nope. Too hard. This coffee shop is SO unrealistic! I don't know ANYTHING bout business!”

It was a good thing I kept in mind their intentions. And as one of them, George Ridley, said, “If I can break you, think about what they will do in the business world.”

Even though the nauseating feeling I had tempted me to run away, it eventually convicted me to get my butt in gear. The tough love has forced me to think realistically. It has grounded me and pushed me to find the roots of my dream. The roots that will give the cool cups, amazing events, and changed hearts sustenance.

I wanted to let you all know that I have set a plan to continue to provide the sustenance for my coffee shop. I will graduate from G42 in June and then I will be heading home to Colorado. After a couple months of much needed family time, I will be heading down to Flagstaff, AZ! I will be helping my fellow G42er, Dennis Gable, get his community coffee shop up and running, while at the same time, he will be helping me with my business plan and momentum to launch my coffee shop. I am really excited to see how the Lord orchestrates the rest of this…so far I can hardly believe that it's still real. It's going to be a lot of hard work, but I now know what it will take to face it full force.

I am still in need of $2,948 to complete my tuition for G42 (support me here)! Thanks so much for being part of my journey thus far! It's been such a blessing to see how the Lord has used all of you!

I want to encourage you to partner with this new step. Your money is going to a springboard that is about to launch a social network that is truly making a difference in people's lives as well as the world! Thanks again for continuously sticking by this dream with prayer, encouragement and financial help! It means so much to me!!